Thoughts On Shared Physical Custody

For whose benefit is it to provide two separate homes for the children with equal time in each home?   The best way to begin answering this question is to begin with the statement:  “The children would be better off having two different houses to call home because _________.”     If you can finish that sentence, your children might be among the few who would benefit from splitting their time equally between two houses.

When parents come to mediation already considering a shared physiscal custody arrangement, most of the sentences in defense of this idea begin with the word “I”.  I can’t imagine not seeing them for less than half a week.  I can’t live without tucking them in at night for more than 3 nights running.  “The children” and what the children need are nowhere on the radar of why shared physical custody is even being considered as the best living arrangement for them

I am not saying that Shared Physical Custody is a bad idea for everyone.  I am just saying it might not be the best idea for all of the children whose parents are considering it.  A list of Pros and Cons for Shared Physical Custody versus a parenting plan with a primary residential parent for the children, might help flush out the picture that is in your children’s best interest.  Make sure each Pro and each Con begins with the words - “the children” - and you will be painting a picture that is more in their best interest than in yours.

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