Communication Challenges in Military Divorce

Overcoming Military Divorce Communication Difficulties: Expert Tips

Introduction

Military divorce is a complex and challenging process that presents unique hurdles for couples to navigate. One of the most significant obstacles is communication, which can become even more difficult due to deployment and other military responsibilities. In this article, we will delve into the impact of deployment on communication, the challenges faced by military couples, and strategies for effective communication during a military divorce.

Understanding Military Divorce

In order to address the communication challenges in military divorce, it is important to have a basic understanding of the divorce process for military couples. Similar to civilian divorces, a military divorce involves the legal termination of a marriage. However, there are some key differences that make military divorces more complex.

Firstly, military divorces are governed by both state and federal laws. This means that in addition to following the laws of the state in which the couple resides, there are also specific federal laws, such as the Uniformed Services Former Spouses’ Protection Act (USFSPA), that apply to military divorces.

Secondly, there are additional factors to consider in a military divorce, such as military benefits and pension plans. These assets must be divided according to the laws and regulations of the military, adding another layer of complexity to the divorce process.

The Impact of Deployment on Communication

Deployment is a common reality for military couples, and it can have a significant impact on communication during a divorce. When one spouse is deployed, it can make it difficult to discuss important matters related to the divorce such as child custody, division of assets, and spousal support.

Deployment can also create a sense of distance and disconnection between the couple, making it challenging to maintain open and effective communication. The added stress and pressure of deployment can also affect the emotional state of both parties, making it even harder to communicate effectively.

Furthermore, deployment may also require one spouse to be physically absent for extended periods of time, making it difficult to attend court hearings or meet with lawyers. This can lead to delays and complications in the divorce process.

Unique Challenges for Military Couples

In addition to the impact of deployment, there are other unique challenges that military couples may face when going through a divorce. These challenges can further complicate communication and make it harder to reach a resolution.

One major challenge is the lack of control over the timing of the divorce. Military members may be deployed or required to move to a new location at any time, which can disrupt the divorce process and make it difficult to plan and communicate effectively.

Another challenge is the possibility of one spouse being stationed in a different state or even a different country. This can make it more challenging to attend court hearings and meet with lawyers, as well as create logistical issues for co-parenting and communicating about important decisions related to the divorce.

Additionally, military culture and the unique demands of military life can also impact communication between spouses. The stress and pressure of military duties can create tension and strain in the relationship, making it harder to communicate effectively during a divorce.

Communication Strategies for Military Divorce

Despite the challenges that military couples may face, there are strategies that can help improve communication during a divorce. These strategies can help minimize conflict and facilitate a smoother and more cooperative divorce process.

1. Keep communication channels open

Even if one spouse is deployed or stationed in a different location, it is important to establish and maintain open communication channels. This can be done through various methods such as email, phone calls, and video calls. By communicating regularly, both parties can stay informed and involved in the divorce process.

2. Use technology to stay connected

In today’s digital age, there are many tools and apps that can help military couples stay connected and communicate effectively. For example, video conferencing apps can be used for virtual meetings and court hearings, and co-parenting apps can help with scheduling and communication about the children.

3. Set ground rules for communication

When emotions are running high, it can be beneficial to establish ground rules for communication. This can include things like avoiding name-calling and personal attacks, sticking to the topic at hand, and being respectful towards each other. By setting ground rules, both parties can communicate more effectively and minimize conflict.

4. Seek emotional support

Divorce can be emotionally taxing, especially for military couples who are dealing with deployment and other unique challenges. It is important to seek emotional support from friends, family, or a therapist to help process emotions and cope with the stress of the divorce.

Utilizing Technology for Long Distance Communication

As mentioned earlier, technology can be a valuable tool for military couples going through a divorce. In addition to staying connected and facilitating communication, technology can also be used to share important legal documents and information.

For example, cloud storage services can be used to securely share and store legal documents such as divorce agreements, court orders, and financial records. This can help both parties stay informed and organized, even if they are in different locations.

Virtual mediation is another option for military couples who are struggling to communicate and reach agreements during the divorce process. This involves using video conferencing technology to facilitate a meeting with a neutral mediator, who can help the couple come to a resolution on important matters related to the divorce.

Seeking Professional Help for Communication Issues

If communication between both parties has completely broken down, it may be beneficial to seek the help of a professional. Marriage counselors, therapists, and divorce coaches can all help facilitate communication and improve the overall divorce process.

In addition, military family support services may also offer counseling and support for military couples going through a divorce. These services can provide a safe and neutral space for both parties to express their thoughts and feelings and work towards effective communication.

Co-Parenting and Communication in Military Divorce

Co-parenting is a crucial aspect of any divorce involving children, and it can be even more complicated for military couples. However, effective communication is key to successful co-parenting after a military divorce.

One strategy for co-parenting communication is to use a shared calendar or scheduling app. This can help both parents stay informed about important events and appointments related to the children, and avoid scheduling conflicts.

It is also important for both parents to be on the same page when it comes to important decisions regarding the children. Regular communication and collaboration can help ensure that both parents are involved and informed about decisions related to their children’s education, health, and well-being.

Navigating Legal Communication in Military Divorce

In addition to communication between the spouses, there is also the aspect of communicating with lawyers and navigating the legal process of a military divorce. This can be overwhelming and challenging, but there are strategies that can help make it more manageable.

Firstly, it is important to choose a lawyer who has experience and knowledge in handling military divorces. They will be familiar with the laws and regulations that apply to military divorces and can provide valuable guidance and support throughout the process.

It is also crucial to keep all communication with lawyers and other legal professionals in writing. This can help avoid misunderstandings and provide a record of important information and decisions made during the divorce process.

Moving Forward: Communication after Military Divorce

Communication does not end once the divorce is finalized. In fact, it is even more important to maintain effective communication, especially when there are children involved. Co-parenting and communication will continue to be a crucial aspect of post-divorce life for military couples.

It is important for both parties to be respectful and cooperative in their communication, especially when discussing matters related to their children. Effective communication can help reduce conflict and create a more stable and healthy environment for the children.

Furthermore, if one party is experiencing financial difficulties or changes in their military benefits, it is important to communicate these changes to the other party. This can help avoid misunderstandings and potential conflicts in the future.

Conclusion

Military divorce presents unique challenges for couples, especially when it comes to communication. However, by understanding these challenges and utilizing effective communication strategies, military couples can successfully navigate their divorce and move forward in a positive direction.